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Hawkeye vs Aquaman
Marvel vs DC, Avengers vs Justice League. Each team's most ridiculed and unrespected member will square off today. Hawkeye vs Aquaman. Find out which team has the superior buttmonkey in this What-if Fanon Death Battle. Hawkeye vs Aquaman Thumbnail.png|My Thumbnail Hawkeye vs Aquaman Thumbnail (ZDogg667).jpeg|ZDogg667 Useless Remake by Simbiothero.jpg|Simbiothero V2 A vs H.jpg|Simbiothero Aquaman v Hawkeye.png|BakaLord Hawekeye vs Aquaman.PNG|ZDogg (v2) Interlude (Cue https://youtu.be/92H3Mscg7QQ) chinq: Superhero teams. They're full of characters that people look up to, are inspired by and love to see in action. Avocado: But then there's at least one guy on each team. The one who is awesome, yet people still hate because they don't measure up to the rest of their team in strength or have as cool powers. Because that's what defines a superhero. How hard they can punch and what mysterious substance they shoot from their eyes. chinq: Like Hawkeye, the Avengers' archer among gods. Avocado: And Aquaman, King of Atlantis. chinq: I'm captin chinq and he's The MLG Avocado. Avocado: And it's our job to analyse their weapons, armour and skills to find out who'd win a Death Battle. Death Battle card closes (Cue https://youtu.be/H78usyu1Y8w) Hawkeye (Cue https://youtu.be/48fKIXlxaXk) Avocado: Living in a small house in the middle of nowhere in Iowa, Clint Barton had a rough childhood. chinq: Having an an abuse adopted father right after his abusive biological father died, Clint wasn't exactly well treated when it came to fathers. What a shame. Some people get awesome green aliens who train them to be the ultimate warrior as a father figure after their biological one dies. Clint got a guy who tried to ram him with his goddamn car. Avocado: But eventually, Clint and his brother Barney were taken in by two performers at a circus named Jacque and Buck. They ended up realising that Clint had amazing talents with a bow and arrow. This was the start of Clint's journey to becoming an amazing hero. chinq: After ditching the circus when he found out he was working for a bunch of criminals, Clint saw Tony Stark flying around in his Iron Man suit, which inspired him to become a superhero. Avocado: Then he took up his old stage name from the circus times. Hawkeye. (Cue https://youtu.be/H78usyu1Y8w) chinq: With this new name... Well, it wasn't really new. He'd had it for years. But you get what I mean. Anyway, Hawkeye also put his archery skills to good use and dawned a bow and quiver. Avocado: His bow has a custom pull of 250 pounds. Not to mention he can fire arrow from it at practically the same rate of fire as a machine gun and still have every single one of them hit a bullseye. He even once shot an arrow at speeds that were calced at Mach 438. chinq: But if he only shot regular arrows, he wouldn't be much use now, would he? Which is why everyone's F A V O U R I T E Avenger made himself a bunch of trick arrows. He's got arrows that can electrocute and freeze people, stick to surfaces and leave behind a makeshift zipline, explode, melt through steel with acid and cover people in glue that makes them almost as sticky as when I-''' Avocado: Please don't finish that sentence. I don't need that image ingrained in my mind. '''chinq: What? I was just gonna say that my hands get sticky whenever I eat an orange and the juice gets on my hands. That shit will make anyone's hands sticky bro.... Oh... Wait.... You sick-minded bastard. Avocado: Let's move on from this before I throw myself out the window. chinq: No, actually, let's keep talking about this and see what happens about this window jump you just mentioned. Avocado: Ok then... Let's move on before I..... Eat one of your oranges? chinq: NOT MY BABIES!!! Ok, you win this round. Avocado: Anyway, Hawkeye's best arrows include the adamantium and vibranium arrows that are coated in nigh indestructible metals. chinq: He can also use Pym Particles in his arrows. These are the particles that Ant-Man uses to grow and shrink. And when I say Ant-Man, I don't mean the one from that new Rick and Morty episode. Avocado: Hey, chinq. Million Ants vs Ant-Man isn't for another 4 seasons worth of fights. It's not time for that yet. You're also making this episode dated by describing the Rick and Mlrty episode as "new". chinq: Aww, you're no fun. Anyway, Hawkeye can use the Pym Particles to grow and shrink his enemies or even use them on his arrows to be able to fit several arrows inside a single arrow, causing them to scatter when he fires the arrow. Avocado: ... Sca-... chinq: Uhh... Avocado? Avocado: ... Scatter Arrow... chinq: What's wrong? Avocado: ... Sorry, I just had some traumatic flashbacks to Hanzo Scatter Arrow bullshit. chinq: If it bothers you that much, play less Overwatch. Problem solved. Avocado: NEVER!!! chinq: Well enjoy getting your ass whooped by the Scatter Arrow bs you hate so much. Avocado: I WILL! chinq: That makes no sense. And you're supposed to be the smart one. Avocado: I am. Now back to Hawkeye. chinq: Sure... Anyway, whilst the arrows we've talked about are great and all, we haven't even covered his best one. Avocado: If Hawkeye decides he's not up for a good old round of penetration- chinq: Hehe. Penetration. Avocado: Yeah, real mature. Anyway, if he wants to get destructive and his regular explosive arrows aren't cutting it- chinq: Don't you mean if they're not penetrating it? Hehehe. Avocado: I swear to Darkseid, I will gut you. So if I can finish what I'm saying without being interrupted this time... Hawkeye can unleash an arrow that explodes with a force of 30 megatons of explosive force. chinq: You mean penetrative fo-''' Avocado: Shrek isn't real. '''chinq: ... I.... No.... This can't be... Avocado: Well, while you have this existential crisis about a fictional character not being real, I'm gonna get into Hawkeye's feats and stats. chinq: For 16 years I celebrated May 18th as national ogre day where I'd get the family together and we'd have a meal of just onions... (Cue https://youtu.be/YGJmfLvzK0Q) Avocado: Hawkeye's strongest arrow, his nuclear bomb arrow, should put him solidly at a city maximum of city level with its 30 megatons of force it can put out. On top of that, his speed is nothing to laugh at either. He caught an arrow in his bare hands whilst blinded and has dodged bullets on many occasions, giving him supersonic reaction speeds. As well as the time he shot an arrow at Mach 438 giving him at most massively hypersonic attacking speed. chinq: I went on a year long hunt for the swamp... Avocado: Ok chinq. That's enough. Have this mental breakdown in your own time. We have a job to do. chinq: You were having one earlier! Avocado: I mean, I could just get Sans to come in and take your place... chinq: Woah, ok. No need to go that far. Avocado: So I believe we were about at the point of covering his durability. chinq: Ok, Hawkeye has survived being crushed by a car, having arrows stabbed in his ears and being riddled with more bullets than pre-robo Robocop... Say, this reminds me of a joke I had that's in very poor taste. Avocado: Please don't. chinq: Here goes. What do you call a-''' Avocado: You're not finishing that. '''chinq: Aww. Avocado: Anyway, Hawkeye also has chainmail armour incorporated into his suit that he got from Iron Man, giving him extra protection without restricting his movement. chinq: Speaking of Iron Man, Hawkeye has a handy dandy pair of Stark Hearing Aids. Avocado: Which is a perfect way to segment into Hawkeye's weaknesses. chinq: Wow, you just love to be overly negative about everything, don't you? This is why we can't have nice things. Avocado: Yes. Yes I do. Anyway, Hawkeye is actually mostly deaf, hence why he needs these hearing aids. Should they break, he would lose 80% of his hearing. chinq: And his arrow supply isn't infinite. He can run out and needs to make sure every shot lands. But considering how accurate he is with his shots, being able to shoot arrows down gun barrels, tag Taskmaster whilst driving and pin people to walls whilst blinded, it's safe to say that missing shots won't be an issue for him. Avocado: And even if he does run out of arrows, his martial arts training with Captain America is more than enough for him to hold his own. chinq: You may not expect an archer to be able to help on a team with planet busting gods, but, to most people's surprise, Hawkeye can do just that. Avocado: He's definitely impressive for an archer who started out in a circus. Hawkeye: Ok, the city is flying, were fighting an army of robots... And I have a bow and arrow. None of this makes sense. But I'm going back out there because it's my job. If you step out this door, you are an Avenger. Death Battle card closes Aquaman (Cue https://youtu.be/v0QvAJML97Y) chinq: Oh my god, are we really covering this guy? Avocado: What's wrong? chinq: Aquaman? Seriously? He's like, the worst member of the justice league. Avocado: You don't think that sounds... At all biased? chinq: Of course it does. But I don't have a say in these results anyway. I mean, do you really think I would've said yes if you asked me if Sans beat Grif or if Shadow beat Waluigi? So what does it matter? Avocado: Fair point. chinq: So you agree Aquaman sucks? Avocado: Far from it. Perhaps I can change your opinion on the guy with this analysis. chinq: Go on then. Impress me. Avocado: Alright then. Born to queen Atlanta but raised by a man by the name of Tom Curry, Arthur Curry was never aware of his atlantean heritage as a child. chinq: Of course, superhero clichés struck and Tom died. So Arthur was an orphan! Hurray for common tropes! Avocado: After Tom's death, Arthur learned of his Atlantean heritage. Which of course, involved him having superhuman abilities. And of course, when you're a fictional character that isn't completely human, you have superpowers! chinq: Being an Atlantean, Aquaman is pretty tough. He's so used to deep ocean pressure, that he is pretty much bulletproof. I'll bet I can do the same if I take a few scuba diving lessons. Avocado: Doubtful. But I would like to see you get completely crushed by the ocean depths. So by all means, Go right ahead. chinq: Well, I know how I'm spending my Saturday! Avocado: In the hospital. chinq: Yes, waiting for you to wake up after I punch your goddamn lights out. Avocado: I doubt it. Anyway, getting back on the topic of Aquaman, he can breathe underwater and he has his marine telepathy ability which- chinq: It lets him talk to fish! Avocado: Well... Not exactly. Since fish are too primitive to actually converse, he sends signals to their brains that force them to do what he wants. It can also give white Martians seizures. chinq: Close enough. Avocado: ... Yeah, pretty much. chinq: So he can talk with the salmon that's gonna be my dinner tomorrow, what's the big deal? If he needs the help of SpongeBob and co in his battles, he can't be all that tough. Avocado: Well, he's taken on many top tier members of the Justice League like Martian Manhunter, Wonder Woman and even Superman himself. chinq: Damn. That's... Actually quite impressive. Avocado: He's also no slouch in the speed department either, being able to deflect lasers on a regular basis. He was even able to straight up blitz Wonder Woman. chinq: You know, the chick who deflected thousands of faster than light shards of a godly being. Just to not appear as a motionless statue to this woman would require Aquaman to be far faster than light. Never mind blitzing her. Avocado: There's also Aquaman's insane durability. While he's not so great against piercing weapons, against blunt force he is an absolute tank. chinq: Yeah, the dude can tank hits from Supes, Wondey and Piccolo on steroids. Even the weaker versions of these characters can easily destroy entire planets. That's some damn good durability right there. Avocado: And just because he's more vulnerable to piercing weapons doesn't mean he's completely helpless against them. His vulnerability isn't as severe as Wonder Woman's seeing as he can tank automatic gunfire without a scratch. chinq: Even if his skin is pierced, he has accelerated healing that can patch up his wounds in a short amount of time. Avocado: Ah, yes. Because it isn't a comic book character if he can't heal faster than a normal human. chinq: Well, it isn't quite on the same level as someone like Deadpool, but it still did allow him to heal from being stabbed in the chest with a trident within a short amount of time. Avocado: Speaking of tridents, Aquaman wields the Trident of Posideon which... Definitely isn't a normal trident, I'll say that much. chinq: Well, yeah. What other tridents do you know that are indestructible, can shapeshift and control the elements? Avocado: Yup. It definitely isn't a normal trident. chinq: Well, Aquaman is definitely more impressive than I originally thought. Though that doesn't mean he's perfect, far from it. Avocado: Yeah, while the dude can keep up with the Justice League top tiers, it is still pretty clear that he isn't superior to them. Not that it means he's weak, it's just the others have set such a high bar for him to surpass. chinq: And if he's out of water for several hours, he will get weaker and could even die. Avocado: But Aquaman is still much more powerful than people will give him credit for. You'd want to think twice before messing with the King of Atlantis. https://youtu.be/lNQTw4HdzxQ chinq: Can't say I feel the same way about that version of Aquaman though. Death Battle card closes Intermission (Cue https://youtu.be/92H3Mscg7QQ25s) Avocado: Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all. chinq: It's time for a DEATH BATTLE! Death Battle card closes. Pre-Fight The camera pans across part of the ocean, where the only thing visible is a single boat. The camera zooms in on the boat, showing Hawkeye fishing. Hawkeye: Man, it was nice of Tony to lend me this boat to go fishing on. I just wish there were actually some fish for me to catch around here. Suddenly, Hawkeye spots a shadow moving across near the surface of the water. Hawkeye: Alright, finally! Hawkeye takes an arrow from his quiver with some rope attached so he he can reel it back in. Hawkeye: Come on, I need something for dinner tonight. It's gonna take 2 hours for this boat to get back to land and I'm starving. Hawkeye fires the arrow, which manages to hit the mysterious creature creating the shadow. Hawkeye: Alright, now to reel it in! Hawkeye attempts to reel in the creature, but to no avail. Hawkeye: Oh, come on! Suddenly, there is a huge splash of water as the creature jumps on to the boat. The creature is revealed to be Aquaman. Aquaman: So, you're trying to mutilate some poor fish with a mini harpoon. Am I right in saying this? Hawkeye: I mean... When you put it like that... Aquaman: And you were planning on eating whatever you hit? Hawkeye: Well, I was. But then you showed up. And I'm not all that in to cannibalism. Aquaman: I will not tolerate this attempted assault on ocean life. Hawkeye: What are you, the head of PETA's Aqua division? Aquaman: You will face the wrath of the King of Atlantis. Fight (Cue https://youtu.be/E9WyUq0g0T8) Hawkeye launches several basic arrows rapid fire at Aquaman, but they all just bounce off. Aquaman: Not even gunfire can pierce my skin, your arrows are worthless against me. Hawkeye: Is that so? Hawkeye takes an adamantium arrow from his quiver and fires it at Aquaman. The arrow pierces into Aquaman's left shoulder, causing him to scream in pain. Aquaman: What trickery is this? Hawkeye: It's called adamantium, bud. Your bulletproof skin isn't so tough now, is it? Aquaman: You dare? Aquaman charges at Hawkeye and throws a punch, but Hawkeye avoids it, moves behind Aquaman and hits him with an explosive arrow. Aquaman is unphased. Aquaman: Is that the best you've got? Hawkeye: Not even close. Hawkeye fires yet another arrow which releases hundreds of other arrows, many of which hit Aquaman. He is still unphased. Aquaman: I guess that adamantium arrow was the only real threat to me you had. Hawkeye: Don't count me out yet. Hawkeye fires an arrow at Aquaman's face, but he catches it milliseconds before it hits. Aquaman: You clearly have no other tricks up your sleeve. You don't stand a chance. The arrow then explodes, stunning Aquaman long enough for Hawkeye to launch 2 more arrows. One to coat him in glue and one to freeze him. Hawkeye: Sayonara King Ocean Hobo! Hawkeye kicks Aquaman back into the ocean. Hawkeye: And that's that. Suddenly, several pillars of water form and Aquaman jumps back onto the boat. Aquaman: I'll admit, you caught me off guard there. Not bad. Now that you've shown me what you can do, I'll show you what I can do. Hawkeye starts launching arrows at Aquaman rapid fire, but he deflects every single one with his trident. Aquaman: You honestly thought I'd just stand there and take it? Hawkeye: I mean... That's what you've been doing... Soooooooooo..... Suddenly, a giant Kraken emerges from the ocean. Hawkeye: Ok, what? Aquaman: Witness the power of my marine telepathy! Hawkeye: So what you're saying is basically "witness the power of my ability to get others to do stuff for me"? Aquaman: Enough! The Kraken lunges at Hawkeye, but Hawkeye shoots it in the eye with an arrow, causing it to retreat. Hawkeye: Not gonna lie, that was really underwhelming. Aquaman then causes the pillars of water he created to fall on Hawkeye. Hawkeye: Well done, now I'm soaking wet. I thought you were trying to kill me, not annoy me. Aquaman: This human is tougher than I was anticipating. Hawkeye: I get that a lot... Ok, no. I really don't. Aquaman then has a shark jump out of the water at Hawkeye, but Hawkeye fires an explosive arrow into its mouth, killing it. Hawkeye launches a vibranium arrow at Aquaman, but he deflects it with his trident. Aquaman: I see you are running out of arrows. You do not have a chance of beating me. Hawkeye: Crap, 4 arrows left. Better make them count... Wait, if he was just in the ocean, that means he'll also be dripping wet, which means I can use that to my advantage. I just gotta hit him with an electric arrow. I just need a good opportunity to use it... Hawkeye charges at Aquaman and attempts to hit him in the head with his bow, but Aquaman blocks it with his arm and uses his other arm to punch Hawkeye in the gut, launching him off the side of the ship and into the ocean. Aquaman looks over the side of the boat to look for Hawkeye, but sees that he used an arrow to latch on to the side of the boat. Hawkeye: Hello there. Aquaman: General Keno- I mean, WHAT?! Hawkeye fires another arrow at Aquaman, which hits him in the eye, causing him great pain. It then starts electrocuting him. Hawkeye: Gotcha! Hawkeye jumps back onto the boat and fires an acid arrow below Aquaman's feet, causing the floor to melt and for Aquaman to fall into the water, furthering the pain from his electric shock. Hawkeye loads his bow with his last arrow. Hawkeye: I'm pretty sure that took you out, but I'm not taking any chances. Unluckily for me, this is my last arrow. Unluckily for you, it's my most powerful. I hope you're ready to be hit with 30 megatons to the face! Hawkeye launches his final arrow down the hole in the boat. The arrow hits Aquaman, causing a huge explosion that even sends the boat flying. Luckily, it lands safely. Hawkeye is lying on the floor of the boat. Hawkeye: I think I'm gonna be seasick. But at least I beat that fish guy. A few seconds pass, but then Aquaman jumps out of the water and back onto the boat. He is covered in scorch marks and still has the arrow in his eye. He is pissed. Aquaman: Well played, now let's see how much you can take. Hawkeye: Oh... shit. Aquaman kicks Hawkeye into the sky, then jumps back into the ocean, picks up the boat and throws it at Hawkeye which hits him and sends him flying into space, eventually into the sun. Aquaman then begins to swim back to Atlantis. Aquaman: That could've gone a lot smoother. I probably should've just kicked the shit out of him at the start. K.O Iron Man is seen at a dockyard, waiting for Hawkeye to return with his boat. The Justice League are laughing hysterically at how Aquaman lost an eye to a human with a bow and arrow. Results (Cue https://youtu.be/t5RzqSaoOdY) chinq: Damn, what a battle! Though I can't help but feel Hawkeye shouldn't have put up as good of a fight as he did. Avocado: Oh yeah, he wouldn't. But Aquaman one shotting Hawkeye from the start wouldn't have been very entertaining to read now, would it? chinq: Fair point. And yeah, Aquaman does take this by a landslide. Or should I say, a waterslide! Avocado: This is why we shouldn't be allowed to make jokes. chinq: Hey, stop being so salty!... Get it, because the sea has salt in it... Avocado: Stop it chinq. You don't get to make jokes that require any basic knowledge outside of what a toddler would know. chinq: Ouch. Anyway, Aquaman wins. Care to explain why? Avocado: Gladly! For starters, we could just say "Aquaman can fight Superman" and call it a day, but let's go a little further. chinq: While Hawkeye was tough enough to survive being crushed by a car, Aquaman is easily able to pick up and throw giant cruise ships and submarines. To say he didn't have the power to put Clint down would be ridiculous. Avocado: Both have been subjected to typically fatal wounds before with Hawkeye surviving many bullets and Aquaman surviving a stab to the chest with a trident. chinq: The difference being Hawkeye was hospitalised and Aquaman was able to patch himself up. Avocado: Also, Hawkeye dodging bullets is impressive, but you know what's more impressive? Blitzing a goddess that deflected trillions of faster than light projectiles. chinq: And yeah, there's also the fact that Arthur was able to go toe to toe with casual planet busters like Superman. Which obviously gives him the edge over most humans. Avocado: Hawkeye's only chances were his nuke arrows and his adamantium and vibranium arrows to take advantage of Aquaman's weakness to being pierced. But Aquaman has tanked way more force than 30 megatons before, and he can dodge any of Hawkeye's arrows before they hit him. So those options are out of the window. chinq: Hawkeye did hold some advantages like being more skilled in martial arts and being a much better marksman, but they were nowhere near enough to beat Aquaman. So it looks like Hawkeye Posididn't stand a chance in this battle. Avocado: The winner is Aquaman. Next Time chinq: Next time on Death Battle! https://youtu.be/1ql4on8kako https://youtu.be/zwbYGaIkx-c Category:What-If? Death Battles Category:MLG Avocado Category:'DC vs. Marvel' themed Death Battles Category:Death Battles by 2 Different Series Category:Death Battles by 2 Different Companies Category:'Hero vs. Hero' Themed Death Battle Category:'Superheroes' Themed Death Battles Category:Death Battles with a Returning OMM Combatant Category:Death Battles with a returning combatant Category:"Male vs Male" Themed Death Battles Category:Completed What-If? Death Battles Category:What-If? Death Battles completed in 2018 Category:Death Battles with Music